trying something new?

29 October 2008

What should we do when our spiritual life isn't what it should be?


I think it's a good place to be in this life, to be aware that we're not what we ought to be. The Apostle Paul set a clear example for us in Philippians 3:12 when he said, "Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own."

So the thing to keep in mind when I sense my inadequacy as a Christian is that my acceptance with the Father does not depend ultimately on my adequacy, because Christ has made me his own. He has reached down and—by his cross, by election, by his calling, and by his regeneration—made me his own.

I want to keep my focus on him and pray, "O God, incline my heart to you. Keep me, use me," and then grow in grace by looking to the one who has made me his own.

26 October 2008

It sings happy songs through the tears.

For Jesus, the demand for joy is a way to live with suffering and to outlast suffering. Therefore, this joy is serious. It's the kind you fight for by cutting off your hand (Matthew 5:30) and selling your possessions (Matthew 13:44) and carrying a cross with Jesus to Calvary (Matthew 10:38-39). It has scars. It sings happy songs with tears. It remembers the dark hours and knows that more are coming. The road to heaven is a hard road, but it is not joyless.
---John Piper, In Our Joy, pg 35

19 October 2008

cold thoughts at 11:27 p.m.

! mmmm, my toes are cold and they feel even colder against my *warmer* ankles. 
@ i've translated 2 1/2 greek verses with a broken purple pencil.  ---->
# i'm attempting to warm up the frozen knot in my stomach with STASH'S earl grey's scalding but man, even it tastes coldish.
^ *almost all* of my clothes are clean.  
& i like jeans.  and sweatshirts.  and bagels.  and car rides.  and McAlister's Deli.  and swings, a lot.  
$ my penguin pjs are not performing up to their promised warming guarantee...looking at them playing in the snow on my kneecap isn't helping either.  why do they put snow on things that are supposed to make you feel warm and cuddly?  
% future of forestry is perfect.
* tears need to stop flowing so easily from my eyes, hunger needs to return to my body, sleep needs to saturate my mind, grades need to drop from 'panic' mode and just chill, and God has satisfied all.   

15 October 2008

Question 3 is based on the following passage.

It may look as though I do not know how to begin my tale.  Funny sight, the elderly gentleman who comes lumbering by in a valiant dash for the bus, which he eventually overtakes but is afraid to board in motion and so, with a sheepish smiles, drops back, still going at a trot.  Is it that I dare not make the leap  It roars, gathers speed, will presently vanish irrevocably around the corner, the bus, the motorbus, the mighty motorbus that is my tale.  Rather bulky imagery, this.  I am still running.

In context, the actions of the "elderly gentleman" (line 2) are best understand as
(A) a sign that the narrator fears he will miss an appointment
(B) a reference to the narrator's physical skills
(C) a symbol of the narrator's social status
(D) a metaphor for the narrator's literary struggles
(E) an allusion to the narrator's artistic reputation

 Yes, I is taking the Psat.  

10 October 2008

When I Look at the Stars, I see Someone Else

Tonight, was awesome. The stars are so beautiful; so creative! Can you imagine creating a star? And being the first one to do it? Man alive. Lying on the rooftop of the Jeep, listening to music both sad and sweet, star gazing, being able to watch the moon's progress as it inched along the sky through the trees, imagining what would be goin on in the moon-light-lite woods if I wasn't in this world. thinking of creating a star...I think I could have stayed for hours if it hadn't been for the necessity of a human moment to eat...and do physics. Actually, lying out there I began to think about physics (oh, it's sad) and what if what everyone thinks is tue about physics, actually isn't and all this stuff we spend time memorizing and learning actually doesn't mean a thing except that we humans know what another human is talking about and that maybe other humans would rather not have a conversation about their velocity and gravity and why things move the way they do and what the scaler mesurment of that thing is but instead they would like to lie under the stars and listen to Evanesence and gorgeous piano music and just enjoy the feeling of soccer being played in raquetball rooms and your sweaty shirt sticking to your back and thinking of joy and reading into lyrics too hard and being a stupid, pathetic, cold, over emotional person and to just cry with the stars and watch the moon rise?

09 October 2008

When it's You and I, then my heart can sing!

"You And I
Water for the thirsty
Wholeness for the meek
Shelter and foundation for the weak
Friendship for the lonely
Riches for the poor
Fulfillment for the ones who yearn for more

You are what I long for
You are what I need..."

Every time I listen to this song, I remember how God is all satisfying, and how nothing else is.  

He Is Friendship For The Lonely.  He is what I long for.  He is what I need.    

08 October 2008

sunrise [even when you can't see it for the clouds that lie in the way]

There are those days where I just love the feeling of rain.
There's no other time it would be so perfect, so right.  
It matches my mood, my feelings, the songs I hum in my head.  
If it were sunny, it would be different.  But it's raining; it's so perfect, so right.  
Rain and gray clouds are not synonymous with sadness and bad days.  They can be glorious and beautiful!   
The feeling is quite cold and tingly on my skin; I get goosebumps.  
But there is not a reason or reward that would make me want to change that.  
The freezing droplets soak my shoes and I, from then on, carry the sound of my enjoyment with me through the rest of my day.  :)