everything is in such extremes. [extreme health, nothing at all, over-emotional, blank face and feelings...] everything is too much. [who really needs over 14 hrs. of behind the scenes? do we have lives anymore???...this really has nothing to do with anything i'm talking about, or not talking about, whichever...]
Saturday was horrible, really horrible. I feel good. I feel crappy. This sucks. Life is Grand. Tears start coming before your ready for them (no! please not infront of 10 tables! suck it up for a bit...); they don't come when you are (okay, now that i'm alone it'd be a good time); then they don't stop (waiting in the jeep for 30 min. isn't too bad..until you get a phone call and someone wants to talk and your just blubbering loudly into their ear..); then you feel fabulous afterwards despite your extremely stuffed up nose (i slept soooo well. today was amazing.). Jon Foreman's Limbs and Branches album is...indescribably good. Your Love is Strong in particular...God is so awesomely good to me. It totally out-weighs the bad. Your heart can break in so many different ways and He can always make it whole again. It can feel good again. "Why do I worry? Why do I freak out? God knows what I need. You know what I need." He gives the EXACT amount of grace needed everyday. It is sufficient. I will not need a single bit more than He has given. Saturday, I realized that. Again. But even more than before. "The kingdom of the heavens is now advancing. Invade my heart." Follow the Serious, Ture Joy. Invade me. Cry and feel good. Pray and rely on who you know you've been supposed to, rather than yourself. It's not about me.