trying something new?

27 December 2009

this just might make me like candy corn:

09 December 2009

go Pat, your brilliant dude!


08 December 2009

please don't stop, please

How long will these conversations last?
How long before we can no longer be best friends?
Our days are numbered, don't let me miss out on any of it.
Don't leave me behind.

Someday, you'll meet the girl who'll glaze over your eyes.
Someday, you'll be her best friend.
Someday, I'll have lost you forever.
Never to talk as we used to.

Please stop growing up,
Stop becoming the man you are destined to be.
Just stay my best friend, my brother.
Let's just stay kids.

20 November 2009

ooooh, it makes me laugh-out-loud in the library!

“Mr. Collins tells me that you are schooled in the deadly arts, Miss Bennet.”

“I am, though not to half the level of proficiency your Ladyship has attained.”

“Oh! Then — some time or other I shall be happy to see you spar with one of my ninjas. Are you sisters likewise trained?”

“They are.”

“I assume you were schooled in Japan?”

“No, your ladyship. In China.”

“China? Are those monks still selling their clumsy kung fu to the English? I take it you mean Shaolin?”

“Yes, your ladyship; under Master Liu.”

“Well, I suppose you had no opportunity. Had your father more means, he should have taken you to Kyoto.”

“My mother would have had no objection, but my father hates Japan.”

“Have your ninjas left you?”

“We never had any ninjas.”

“No ninjas! How was that possible? Five daughters brought up at home without any ninjas! I never heard of such a thing. Your mother must have been quite a slave to your safety.”

Elizabeth could hardly stop smiling as she assured her that had not been the case.

15 November 2009

i like love this.


Like is watered down love.
Like is mediocre.
Like is the wishy-washy emotion of content.
Athletes don't do it for the like of a sport.
Artists don't suffer for the like of art.
There is no I like NY t-shirt.
And Romeo didn't just like Juliet.

ha.

03 November 2009

i don't know if this is funny out of context or not...but it was hysterical in! :P

zack: you don't understand! i need this paper job! the only other option is the marching band!!

cody: whats wrong with the marching band?

zack: the only instrument left is the glockenspiel!

cody: what’s wrong with the glockenspiel?

zack: nobody would ever go out with a guy who plays the glockenspiel!

cody: look, i'm trying to run a newspaper here, not your love life!

zack: if you don't give me a job, i'll keep making scary monster sounds while your sleeping!

cody: you're Mr.Spooky-head?!
……………..later in the episode……………….
cody: oh, this is great! you exploit me and my paper, manipulate a girl, then abandon me, destroy my paper and STILL get the girl?!

17 October 2009

Let your creative spinkles flow baby! :)

"Be Sweet. Pass it on."

20 September 2009

no.title

provided unknowingly by Mary :)

I'm feeling overwhelmed by God's goodness and love. Undeserving, Undesiring, Unaccepting, ME whom God, despite my hate and rejection, accepted, caused a desire to stir in me, and a song to come upon my lips to praise Him. Who will sing me lullabies? As I go to lie in my bed and stare into the darkness, He will. He will as He holds me in His hands.

What love is this?

13 September 2009

Who can take tomorrow. dip it in a dream?

The Candyman can! :P

31 August 2009

i think i'm goig to start doing this:


ever wanted an XKCD tie? well, now you can...

yay.

27 August 2009

fantastic

mmmm.


there's something about driving deserted highways in the middle of the night, looking up at a dome of star-pricks that pepper the sky, with dave mathews singing, "come and dance with me", while a saxaphone solo hums around and the person in the passenger seat grabs your hand and starts singing along and whispering, "come and dance with me."

21 August 2009

i like Grizzly Bears...

Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear from Gabe Askew on Vimeo.

26 July 2009

she's having a pity party by herself, glad no one was invited

mmmm, that just may be the starting lyrics of my one-hit-wonder.

UUUHHHHHYEAHHHHHHHHHHUGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!

i'm so freakin' annoyed. at everything and everyone it feels like. and a whole lot at me. why do i get like this when i know the reason why?

What it all comes down to
Is that everything's gonna be fine fine fine
I've got one hand in my pocket
And the other one is giving a high five


my hand that's in the pocket is clinched tight around that last little patience, good sense, willingness to cooperate, and love that i feel like i possess...meanwhile, i'm slapping high-fives and smiling till my head hurts at everyone i'm with, "oh, yeah! living the dream! couldn't be better...."

Like Jon Foreman said,"The easiest thing to do is to throw a rock. It’s a lot harder to create a stained glass window. I used to get upset at the people who threw rocks but now I’d rather spend my time building the stained glass windows." i feel both like i'm throwing rocks and getting mad at those who are. "...I don't want to fly ayone's flag other than Christ's." (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!xinfinity and 2 squared!) I know what I want. Why do I find it so easy to go after the things I don't really want?

I've had 2 of the greatest sentences in the world given TO ME. Straight to me. "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His great mercy has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to obtain an inheritance which is imperishable and undefiled and will not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, who are protected by the power of God through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, even though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been distressed by various trials, so that the proof of your faith, being more precious than gold which is perishable, even though tested by fire, may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ; and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith the salvation of your souls." hmmmm, knew it was coming, knew why it was coming, know what i should be doing about it aaaaand yet, don't. and i totally spelled both those 'comings' with two 'm's each. hmmmm.


i've told myself through a variety of means:

striving for Perfection,

i'll swim against the current and all the normalities of this life and be entirely content

my decision won't be perfect--

i will fall and flop against the sand

but i will rise again and keep running till the end:

happy in my choice

"Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself...With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful..." [Max E.]

i really don't want comments of, "oh, my! are you okay? vent to me anytime!" or an email or really to draw attention by this self-pity, (though i guess that's what i'm doing by this)--i just wanted an open line where i could say it, send it out into the little void and not have a sympathy response or advice or the answers which i know to be true, (honest!) i just really don't want them said to me right now.

::sigh:: i freakin' hate these pity-parties...they're lame and non-forward moving.

i think i shall retreat to my room with my little pepsi, my chips, Confessions of a Shopaholic, and some Psalms.

SHAKE IT WITH SHAKESPEARE AT THE THEATRE TOMORROW WITH TONS OF ADORABL LITTLE KIDDIES!!!!

22 June 2009

awww

even My Coke Rewards wished me a happy birthday.
awwww.

05 June 2009

::siiiiiilence::

man, i feel for you Linus. i'm there far too often. "make a contribution?" [contribution] ::siiiiiiiilence::

p.s. mum is almost home! :0)

29 May 2009

a day

1 new hair cut
2 cats in a cat fight
3 new highlight colors (and 3 awesome chicken/spinach/yellow pepper salads! yum!)
4 days since i've seen Dad
5 days till Em and i go on a road trip
6 wispy clouds that are calling me out to watch...
7 bacon bits in my pasta salad
8 what time me and Cody got off work...promptly for once ;)
9 what time is was 49 minutes ago
(10) is twice the amount of blog "posts" (:P) i've had during the month of May
11 awesome pictures that someone else took
12 days (almost!) till i leave for Washington D.C. (!!!!!!!!!!!!)

the amount of laughter in Subway tonight???? most definitely cannot be counted.....we were pretty much falling over with Cody's "serenading" :P i love that kid. he's a sunshiney day and a half. yay for sunshine and bear hugs and serenading and last days of school!!! which pretty much has to do all with that Bundle of Smiles so i guess yay for Cody! :0)

25 May 2009

silver gladiator sandals and 5 am runs

and peach ice tea and chewy sour jolly ranchers and poetry and stars and flowers and knowing God and musicals and new dresses and the best most picture perfect sandwiches and siblings are some of the best Living you can do.

i haven't a clue really how to begin to explain this...but the best i can do is to try to write this out and remember this for myself. ::sigh:: people. sometimes, i wish i could just make everything better for some of those people who really are living in the world and not just puttering on through trying to get out of the "hell-hole" they think they are in or make it big or get through the week of school and subs to drink and mess around during the week-end. (note: difference between puttering, living, and Living [and in that order].) i've had at least two people say to me, "i have no life because...." (school's over, no job, no fun and games 24/7, whatever other reason of their choice). it makes me really sad that they think this.

i was talking to this absolutely dear liver this week (unfortunately not a Liver, but someday, she might just work this out), and she said she had no life. now, she has no Life, but she does have a life. just because she has some standards and isn't always doing something fun she thinks she doesn't have a life. i didn't even realize it, but i pretty much started yelling at her (in the most friendly not too loud way of course :) ). okay, maybe not a yell-yell, but it worked me up.

Ginnie is a wonderful, caring, sweet, smart, girl who writes gorgeous poetry, has the most gentle voice and lovely smile, sings constantly (even while taking out the trash!), loves her little sister to pieces and truly thinks about things. she doesn't have the source of Life, but she's living life pretty well. she is not lifeless. yet, she seems to think so. i asked her what a person with life was then if she wasn't. she told me someone who had fun.

someone working hard with no "fun" in the middle of craziness can have more life and be living more life than someone who's up on top of it all having a blast and everyone else thinks that they have it all and are living life. i wish Ginnie could see this. anyway, it 3:03 am and i'm eating a yellow pepper and watching Mama Mia! and wearing some silver gladiator sandals on my bed and thinking about some dear people 43 miles+ away and how i was planning to get up in 2 hours to run....mmmmmaybe not anymore....and for the love of all that is green and the makers of gold fish crackers, i'm living Life, and it's good!

so, i close this crazy rant of mixed-up, disorganized spiel of thoughts and say good morning! :0)

18 May 2009

why didn't i find this at the beginning of the year? =^)

wow...this is like, 4 videos in a row. what a blogger! :)

08 May 2009

Jelly? Jam? Jello and Peanut Butter???

okay, i pretty much love this lady and her day-brightening thoughts...i wish i could think like her more often...isn't she just adorable? :)

03 May 2009

some awesome apologetics in act-i-oni! [part odeen]

some awesome apologetics in act-i-oni! [part dva]

23 April 2009

i wish my eyes were rolls of film!

man. today was the bomb! ::one huge smile::
driving home from work, the sunshine was absolutely PERFECT! the, uhhHH! i don't even know how to say it. but it was. :) i've decided that blowing bubbles on perfect sunshiny days with wind whirling through car windows....mmmmmman.

yeah, i give up. i have no idea how to say it. if only i could drive, blow bubbles out the window and be a pro photographer all at the same time...

but it was AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(X INFINITY!!!!!!)

21 April 2009

mmmm! french fries and bbq sauce!

so i was randomly searching YouTube, and I found this video about a girl going to college (btw, creative video with a good point...she has skills) and she had her blog address there so i decide to trouse on over to see it and found a post a wee bit down that really hit home (friendship is not just for my benefit...). thought i'd share it. thanks girl! :)

“I hate you! You’re not my friend anymore!”

I can vividly recall yelling such words to numerous childhood friends over the years. It’s what kids do. You’re best friends one week, then the next you’re sworn enemies. One minute you’re sharing lollipops; then the next you’re pulling each other’s hair out.

I met one friend at a “Pioneer Girl” meeting once when I was around four years old. The both of us secretly agreed to become best friends right on the spot – “Hi, my name is Bridget. Do you want to be my best friend?” – “Okay! My name is Katie! Let’s be best friends!” A few weeks later, we couldn’t stand each other.

It’s not that little kids have terribly calloused, mean hearts. It’s just that when you’re little, going through a dozen or so friendships every month is easy – you simply use each other for however long the fun lasts. And then, when the other guy starts getting on your nerves – well, there’s plenty of other kids to pick from, so why bother sticking it out with this piece of mold?

We laugh at such childish attitudes, and yet, how many of us still harbor this same kind of mindset even when we’ve grown? Of course, we probably (and hopefully!) don’t act the same way as children, but in all honesty, many of us still do foster that same kind of mentality. How many of us see friendship as something to use for our own benefit and enjoyment, rather than as a means to benefit others and make others happy? How many of us have dropped good friendships over the years simply because we no longer enjoyed the other person’s company?

I’ve come to realize that, for the most part, I have viewed friendship in this way – as something to primarily benefit me and make me happy. I am annoyed when I feel as if I’m being ignored. Irritated when a friend refuses to listen to my advice. Hurt when he or she would rather do something else instead of hanging out with me. It’s a philosophy that says, “I am in this relationship for my benefit, and I want you to make me feel special.” Perhaps I never think this outright, but in application, I far too often do.

How many people out there have viewed friendship as a means to benefit themselves? I can’t imagine I am the only one. It is a simple testimony to human nature, the selfish tendency to place ourselves before others and before God. It is this tendency that has completely twisted the meaning of friendship and turned it into a self-serving, self-loving concept.

You see, friendship should not primarily be something we benefit from; instead, it should be an opportunity for us to benefit others by drawing them closer to God.

Jesus is called a “friend” of sinners. If Jesus were a friend of sinners according to the self-serving definition, do you think he would have stripped himself of power and glory and born the punishment for our sins so that we might have a relationship with God? What did we ever do for him? He befriended us and loved us long before we ever even knew his name. That’s not exactly what I would call a beneficial relationship on his part. And yet he did it anyway, at great cost to himself, so that we might know God. It’s perfectly selfless, and perfectly loving, and perfectly amazing.

Christ died so that I might know God. So that I, a perfectly undeserving, utterly sinful human being who took no interest in Christ whatsoever, could share in Christ's glory and actually know God Almighty on a personal level. Christ's friendship with me has given me the ultimate relationship with God. It's amazing. The only thing I can conclude from such an astounding fact is that my own earthly friendships should try to emulate in some small way this kind of love. In other words, like Christ, the ultimate goal of my friendships should be to strengthen the other person's relationship with God, the only friendship that will ever bring lasting joy. It's a simple thing to recognize, yet more often than not I find myself failing to apply this to real life.

But when you think about it, this is the only way we can become true friends, not by having a good time and enjoying each other’s company, but by building each other up and drawing one another closer to Him. Christ’s friendship with us has given us the ultimate relationship with God. Therefore it only makes sense that the primary purpose of all other relationships should be to strengthen this ultimate relationship with Him.

It all boils down to our worldview. If we recognize that God is ultimately the only being in existence who can make things matter, then we will naturally seek to place Him at the center of all our relationships. And if we place Him at the center of all our relationships, then it will only be natural for us to draw one another closer to Him. And furthermore (stay with me now!), if we are primarily focused on drawing one another closer to Him, then we won’t be busy sulking over bruised egos and damaged self-esteem when we are ignored, or forgotten, or taken advantage of. Instead, we will use these moments as opportunities to imitate Christ's own love toward us.

But just how many of us are this kind of friend?


---[Bridget Eileen]

18 April 2009

If I ever die of a heart attack, I hope it will be from playing my stereo too loud*

So, here I am again.
A late hour is approaching.
(And the thought of getting up in a few to go to soccer games and to feed Peru is intimidating.
Actually, not really.)

It began productively (parcing greek verses after working in & working out and got to pj pants even if the sweaty Y shirt is still on [however, the sweaty,smelly socks are gone!] ;P).
It is not ending so (ebay (check out this! watched item...it's pretty awesome [don't even think about bidding on it ;), retipping the ends of my black fingernails (they were fine until the neverending bread pans!) and wondering around on other people's places...wondering around on not other people's places...)

On the ending note of the last thought, I'd always hated my posts, thought they sounded stooooopid and other such unpromoting words.
However, tonight (last night? this morning?) I stumbled upon a few words from my past; they caught up with me.


AND

I'm not gonna lie. There were some good words in there. Encouragement, honesty, gooberness...

Most of it wasn't my original words.

I have so many blogs in draft-mode. Imperfect words. Too many words. Too few words. Unsure words. Wrong-time words.

This one may yet end with those never to be seen files. I haven't decided yet.

If I publish it for the world to see, I'm not going to look back on it (which was this promise I sorta made to myself a long time ago, to never look back on journal/blog/poetry post, which worked fine until tonight) and find good things as in others. I'll prolly be annoyed with myself and confused and wonder why I ever thought anything would be better for my having put it there. ::sigh:: I can feel the annoyance building up even now. I feel the urge to press the <--backspace key until I see my little blinking marker twinkling over a black white screen and then to type something a bit more purposeful despite the wasted time. Yet, something resists, a very little something. Something that says, "you spent time on this. it's history of this night and your thoughts and not wasted! if you don't do it now, it won't apply ever again. it's only for this time, this moment."

So, I guess the sentimental side in me is going to win out. I'll post it. I guess I won't regret it. I'd hate to over something like this.

Hmm, it's now 3:04 a.m. My greek homework is still only 1/2 begun. My Netflix movie long ago decided I had paused it for too long and to log me out. My ebay lurking is getting tiresome. And blogger is getting old. If I had contacts, I think now is the time where people say their eyeballs are sticking to them and they burn and itch or something like.

And so, adieu**! Sweet World until tomorrow! I leave you in the safe hands of the Maker and Creator of you.

*evidence of the good things found from the past of friends [*ahem* Mary :)]
**doyaknow, dictionary.com and so onto thesaurus.com now has a visual thesaurus? It looks pretty cool! Looked like a brain-storming outline. Must check that one out more later...

10 April 2009

tales of w[h]o[a]e

yeah, i didn't really get it either...


someday, i will decide.

i may not be certain,

but i will at least have made a choice.

i will have thrust my own brush out onto the world's canvas and began to make my mark


it will be cool green

bursting orange

skimming yellow

fiery red

and glowing gold


it will sing all favorite songs at once

hum all the beauteous melodies and harmonies simultaneously

it will have it’s own theme-song, ever changing and completely and utterly original—unlike anything ever heard


it will be confident with certainty and direction

instead of tracing random patterns and shapes absentmindedly,

it will create a new piece of art: unique, with ideas never seen before


striving for Perfection,

i'll swim against the current and all the normalities of this life and be entirely content

my decision won't be perfect--

i will fall and flop against the sand, heart pounding; feeling like one more step will kill me

but i will rise again and keep running till the end:

happy in my choice

------[an absentminded school-mate]

06 April 2009

some life-altering words were uttered @ the Doctor's office on Monday

i found out that i suffer from a condition called carcolespsy. it's a problem i've faced for years and just assumed it was a little human "problem" and nothing serious to worry about. however, the last few years it's gotten steadily worse and happens to me without warning and i rarely show any warning signs before it hits. the doctor told me that it's a condition i'll have the rest of my life and there are no cures known.

Pronounced: Kar-ko-lep-see

The inability to stay awake and alert when in a car, or any other thing that moves, such as trains, planes, and busses.

The act of passing out while in a car regardless of passenger or driver status.

example: Roadtrip? Count me in, but I can't drive. I have carcolepsy and we'd all die.


i'm doomed.

30 March 2009

Day 54

DAY 50: Gao Zhisheng Held Hostage

Gao ZhishengChristian human rights attorney Gao Zhisheng, has now been missing 50 days, and there is increasing concern for his life. He was last seen being hauled away from his home by more than a dozen police officers on February 4. Reports from inside China indicate he is undergoing brutal torture.

The situation is critical, and with each day that passes, Gao Zhisheng's life hangs in the balance.

Because of Gao's work defending house church Christians and others persecuted in China, the Chinese government wants to silence his voice. ChinaAid president, Bob Fu calls Gao's torture "the most severe persecution in China's modern history." Gao's wife and two children, who have also been abused and tormented by the police, escaped to the U.S. less than two weeks ago. His family is afraid that authorities, furious at their escape, are taking revenge on Gao.

ChinaAid and The Voice of the Martyrs, together with Gao Zhisheng's wife and children, call on all Christians and those who value human dignity and justice to speak out on Gao Zhisheng's behalf by signing a petition to free Gao.

» Sign the petition at www.FreeGao.com

>>>>> you can also email Chinese government officials, read more about Gao Zhisheng, send donations etc. by clicking on the hyperlink ^^ 


27 March 2009

O! she doth teach the torches to burn bright!


And everything around her is a silver pool of light

The people who surround her feel the benefit of it

19 March 2009

lol

in other news, i'm working @ Subway.

16 March 2009

you are a rebelutionary

So next time you are irritated, remember that this is a test from the Lord. Remember that God could take away the irritation in an instant if He knew it would be best for you. And remember that you are a rebelutionary—being trained by God for the important, world-changing assignments He has prepared for you. The training may be tough; it requires endurance, humility, and lots of patience—but the fruit is eternal.
[grace mally]

11 March 2009

enjoy the tastiest green

which has absolutely nothing to do with this post.  but i hate titles and so they rarely have anything to do with...well, anything anyway so...as Max once said, "LET THE WLD RUPUS BEGIN!"  :D

                                        

today marks the 13th year that i have been an older sister.  Ethan Joseph, my adorable "little" brother (hey, i'm still a bit taller! ;) ), came into my life and happily, it's ever been the same since.  we have the most fun times together...late night cookie baking with Mika, Weezer, Sarah Brightman, and out-loud story reading; racing to the car after a twosome grocery trip (yep, lugging the laundry soap, milk, cheezits and all!); "flying" the car with the widows rolled down even if it's raining and cold, listening to music at full blast and screaming out the lyrics (when we can, usually he makes me laugh too hard to ;) ); amusing me with his long and detailed stories whenever there is silence and time to talk about it; playing clue, sorry with all four slots filled (;)), battling for the top score in Pacman and Pinball, and Star Wars Battle Front (even though I suck, he deals with it); watching ridiculous movies at ridiculous hours (Mamma Mia!  Kung Fu Panda! Newsies in two different rooms at the same time!!!); always listening to my complaints and happy comments in the car or in my room for hours; the best little bro/uncle/Brian Regan impersonator i know; so stinking creative with stories and such, it's not even funny; so sweet and kind.  Ethan, i'm so glad God blessed me with the responsibility of being an older sister to such a little man as you.  Love you Pinocchio!  Can't wait to see where you go in life.  

love always and forever, really and truly,
Le-Man ;)      

07 March 2009

i hate titles.

The only ones for me are the mad ones,
the ones who are made to live,
mad to talk,
made to be saved,
desirious of everything at the same time,
the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace things,
but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes, "Awww!"

02 March 2009

those conversations that are in a category all of their own

and even that category is unknown. my, how my head spins with confusion after these. lately, whether my parents are just thinking a lot about their next-to-last-kid turning 18 or i've done a lot that causes them worry or what else i know not what, i've been getting several random strange talks about, well, i'm not really sure. sometimes, it starts out as nothing but turns into a marriage conversation (how, i haven't the foggiest...it's really weird...). other times, it feels like i'm getting told something in a secret code, but i don't have the code book to decipher the meaning to these words (of wisdom, i can feel the vibes!). like today, i was innocently eating my dinner when all the sudden the friendly banter flying around the kitchen turned into the wackiest, inspirational, motivational, your-growing-up-but-you-aren't-yet-and-you-don't-have-to-do-something-different-and-18ish-just-because-you're-almost-18 talk ever (i'm not even kidding!) all with a side of be your own person and another marriage talk. which was really confusing because..well, i thought i was my own person and i know of nothing changing though i know God has something in store and what with all these "what kind of person you should marry" talks...? strangeness. anyways, someone (today mum, which again was odd) usually ends up with tears (i think joy/pride/foot cramps?) and earnest staring into my face at which i try to look smart and brave and totally up to whatever i'm supposed to do...whatever that is. i'm still trying to figure out the code. so anyways, here i am, at this earlier-lateish-hour, eating pistachios, filling out this new month's calendar with my awesome many coloured sharpies, and even though i'm hacking away something awful and sniffing atrociously, i have experience God's beautiful and perfect grace today and despite confusion and all else, i am satisfied.

one code i have figured out though, thanks to http://www.htmlcodetutorial.com/_STRIKE.html is the stike threw throogh through. hurrah! i'm so proud of me. that one's been a long time coming. :^)

13 February 2009

my valentine's day wish(s)


  • Let love be without hypocrisy Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
    Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord;
    rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,
    contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. (Romans 12:9-13)
  • But now you also, put them all aside: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and abusive speech from your mouth. (Colossians 3:8)
  • So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;
    bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.
    Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.
    Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful. (Colossians 3:12-15)

Oh, how often I fall so short of these commands. I read this and I'm convicted so strongly. Sure, I "love" whom I want to, "encourage" those I wish to encourage, "bear with" them who I will to. If I am not doing this to all my brothers and sisters, I am not doing it truly for any. "Let love be without hypocrisy..." How is my love hypocritic? ("Where is your heart? 'Cause I don't really feel you Where is your heart? What I really want is to believe you...")

28 January 2009

it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood!


We went night sledding. It was dark . It was cold. There were loud, hilarious teenage boys freezing their toes off and daring each other to do ridiculous and daring slides off of cliffs. We had hot chocolate. It was wonderful. We are going tomorrow after school, Ethan, Bradon, and I. Afterwards, I'm going to Addie's for a game night with the college kids and older high scholars from Sycamore RPC. Beforehand, I am taking one monstrous Trig test. boohyeah. I actually am feeling stoked/good vibes about this one. It's all about triangles, their lines, and their angles. It's pretty intense. Post-Afterwards, (Friday) Mum, Ethan and I are going AGAIN to Maconaqua Park and moving with great velocity and force (p=mv) in the downward vertical motion (negative) on a frictionless surface ( μk=o?? i think..) and atop plastic/metal frictionless pieces to time our fastest record (no averaging, we are leaving that for Physics class--not to be taken out of the classroom you understand). There will again be hot chocolate. Post-post-after-afterwards, we are continuing with tradition (of after-sleddingness) by going to Harvey's where we will eat, drink and be merry while dropping off applications (and eating their fabulous after-diner-mints!)